Did you know that you need to feel in control? It is actually good for your emotional well-being. However, when you feel powerless in one area of your life, you will look for another outlet and overcompensate trying to control what you cannot control. This can send you into a spiral of “power-tripping”.
As crazy as it sounds, trying to control everything can actually leave you feeling quite powerless!
I felt powerless over my own life for so many years. I was in the habit of handing my power over to anything, anyone and everyone else so that I didn’t have to take responsibility. Blaming anyone or anything other than yourself feels easier, but only for a short time. Soon, the weight of powerlessness begins to feel like weigh on you like a weight sitting on your chest, squeezing your last breathe out of you.
Feeling powerless left me trying to control things that I had no control over and letting other people control what I should have been controlling. It felt quite maddening.
I got caught in the trap of living as a false version of who I was created to be…a people-pleasing, procrastinating, perfectionist control-freak. YIKES!
I now have a saying that reminds me how to come back to my personal power…
“Whatever you blame, you hand your power over to.”
If you are blaming someone or something then you have no control over the outcome. So…if you want to take back the control of the outcome, take ownership. Take responsibility.
After my divorce, I was stuck blaming my ex-husband for ruining my life. My life coach had the audacity to ask me, “What was your contribution?”
WHAT??? What do you mean, “What was my contribution?” I was the victim here! I was abandoned and betrayed. How dare her attempt to take my vicitmhood away from me…
Well, I decided to sit with that question and I am so glad I did…
I had an “AHA Moment” that day…I could only change what I was willing to acknowledge and own. I was brave enough to examine my contribution instead of blame. Even though I had been treated unfairly, I contributed to the way things were. I realized that I could change my part and change the future.
That AHA MOMENT led to what I do as a life coach. I help women come back home to themselves…their personal power.
(SIDE NOTE: Owning your contribution does not let someone else off of the hook for their actions – you unhook yourself from the power of their actions.)
I was raised in church and “POWER” was kind of a dirty word and here’s why…I think that the reason people get weirded out out about POWER is because of the abuse of power. HOWEVER…the abuse of power is an overcomensation for a LACK of persoanl power and therefore, is actually POWERLESSNESS.
Standing in your personal power IS NOT:
– Being a control freak
– Muscling your way through something
– Bullying people to get your way
– Making others feel powerless
Your personal power IS NOT in your past and it is not in your future. The only place you actually have power is in this present moment.
Standing in your personal power is:
– governing your own thoughts, patterns and emotions
– influencing your own past, present and future
– in the present moment
Feeling powerless makes you feel stuck, keeps you second guessing yourself and keeps you feeling out of control.
Answer these questions to bring you back to a feeling of personal power:
- Where, in your life, have you felt powerless?
- What do you have control over in your life?
- What do you not have control over in your life?
- What action can you take in this moment over the things you do have control over?
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “God has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, POWER and a sound mind.”
You have all of the power you need…just stop handing it over…